12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
