Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
