Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
