Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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