apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
