where does the pee come out of this thing
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
