Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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