I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
