When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
