It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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