how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
