We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
