I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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