When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We just shotgunned beers for America
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
