did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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