You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize