Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
