Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
