Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
