i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
