babies were throwing up all over the place
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
