in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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