i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think people are normalizing furries
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
