Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize