Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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