This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
