All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
