your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
