So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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