He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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