god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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