Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize