his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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