are you still at the devil's house?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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