Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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