I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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