I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Of course I have a pirate flag
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
