you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize