He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
