I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
