it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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