also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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