Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
