Cold hands, warm shart.
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
