The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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