This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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