I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
it's like heaven, but drunker
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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