Apparently you make a good broom.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
