yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
