if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
