the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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