I accidentally burped into my bong.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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