i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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