is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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