I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Panties = found
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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