So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
