I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
