This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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