sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
