I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
