dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
