Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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