I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
