like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
