i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We need a shit load of segways right now
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
