I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
my poor anus
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
